In 24 Hours

Nobody knows what to say!
The easiest is to say, "He is not her father, don't worry".
A strong part of me believes this cannot be her father,
there is the other part of me who knows damn well that he could be!!!
I don't blame people for not knowing what to say;
I don't know what to say.

I have repeatedly tried to reach out and grab onto,
the one person who could give me something to hold onto-
the one who could give me some small piece of hope;
the one who might know what to say;
He offers nothing but a selfish turn of his head as to not be bothered (again)!
Amazing how people can be so selfish!

I've been thinking about my past relationships
How over time heart ache has changed my perspective.
So much so that I have successfully convinced myself that I don't
care if I ever find that one "him"/if I ever get married!
But not this! That cannot happen to this!!!!
The heart ache of relationships amplified 100x is this!
My fear is that if I lose Mester;
I won't have it in me to try again...to try a third time!
How do I convince myself to give this up?

By this time tomorrow I should have a great deal more information!

I have learned that this man claiming to be Mester's father was to meet
with Haile (the agency rep. in Ethiopia) on Friday, as this was a pre-arranged meeting.
He failed to show up!
Good sign?

Somehow I must maintain through the night and through my day tomorrow
until I receive the phone call from my agency!

I have asked for a DNA test; no problem!

Should this man be lying he will be prosecuted!
Should this man be lying; my adoption of Mester continues!

Should this man be telling the truth;
My adoption of Mester is over!

Tomorrow this time I should have a great deal more information!
Pray...please pray!!!